ReRunning & Writing

  This year has been a year of working on and prioritizing my mental health. I declared it at the beginning of the year, and despite many minor derailments, I have made some huge progress so far. It’s been really, really difficult work, and I am exhausted. I’ve found myself lately with a mantra that I don’t want - I’m so tired . I don’t mean physically tired, though I am that as well. I mean soul tired.  From what I’ve read, this is a part of healing. After being on high alert for so long, my system, my body, my brain, my heart, my soul - everything is exhausted, and rest is needed. It sounds easy enough, right?  Rest is complicated. Maybe it shouldn’t be, but for me, at this moment in time, it is.  After a lifetime of extreme highs and lows and a constant, fearful uncertainty, I have no idea how to rest - let alone how to actually enjoy it.  But, I’m working on it. It does take focused effort right now. I still have to remind myself that I am safe. That there isn’t something waiting j

  I haven’t posted in quite awhile. I’ve tried to write a few times, but nothing ever felt right. My mental health took a bit of a dip, and I needed to focus solely on that for a little while. I did a lot of thinking, which I’m sure will turn up in the blog sooner or later, but for today, I want to keep it light and talk about running. My puppy, Oscar, has been with us for almost 2 months, and he and I have been running together. He’s a really quick learner and runs really well already (after he gets some good sniffing in). Once I knew he was into running and able to handle it, I started a run streak again. It is my favorite way to run, and I just need to be out there every day right now. It keeps me peaceful, and the boy loves it, too. We’re on Day 19.  Tomorrow, he might have to run with someone else because I need a long run. My sleep has been really messed up, and though I wanted to run long, I didn’t. I was too exhausted. However, he is settling into a pretty good sleep schedule,