Skip to main content

Forever Starting Over

 



Lately, I haven’t been great with follow through - at least not with my running goals. The run streak went well, but that was done quite a while ago. I have been focused on other things, and the past two months have been filled with grief. Sometimes you just have to get through day by day until the storm passes.

The final blow was losing my dog, Mooner. aka Moon Dog - aka Moo

He was my buddy for almost all of my runs, and I loved our adventures together. It has been absolutely awful losing him, and I have struggled to go for a run. Every good running spot makes me miss him. Then I am either sad or angry and have no interest in running. What’s the point without him trotting along in front of me?

Now, I know there are a lot of other reasons to go for a run, and I know that I need running in my life for my own sanity. I’ve managed a couple of runs, but the motivation is severely lacking. I needed a goal.

Cue random email.

I received an email the other day from someone who has a couch to marathon plan that they offer on their site for free. The site is runnersblueprint.com, and they have a ton of great running info as well as this program for free.

A couch to marathon program seems perfect right now. It starts out super easy, which is great since I have 0 motivation at the moment. It also keeps things very simple. The non-running days are mostly labeled rest or cross train. I like variety and also feeling like I have input into my own training, and this will allow that as well as allowing me to listen to what my body needs on a day to day basis. I have no interest in getting injured this time around.

Marathon has been the plan for the first step in a larger goal, and this is perfect. Nice and easy. I am planning to run my own marathon because I know I am not ready for the anxiety of being at a crowded race start. This crossed my path at the perfect time, and I feel ready to take it on. Check out the link above to follow along - or join me if you’re chasing 26.2. We can share training tales.

In hopes of maintaining motivation, I am going to try blogging daily about my training. Today was Day 1, but this program starts with a rest/cross train day. I did a mix of rower and lifting. I love a good weights sesh, but the rower and I are not besties. I’ve never actually incorporated actual cross training before, so I am going to make an effort to do it right this time.

I feel like I am forever starting over.

It’s only recently that I’ve realized that starting over is not a bad thing. It’s not really starting over. A better term would be trying again. That’s how I try to think about it now. Because I am always starting from somewhere new. I have new experiences. New information. There is growth in every attempt. And, it slowly adds up.

So, I’ll just keep trying. I am excited about this new attempt.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Fighting The Imposter

 January of 2023 can be summed up in two words: Imposter Syndrome. The beginning of the calendar year is always a battle. This year has actually been better than usual. The winter has been much warmer and gentler, and getting outside is so important for maintaining good mental health. Even so, it's been a bit rough. Every year has been improving, so I am hopeful that I'll have an even, calm January at some point. It's definitely getting closer. I had such lofty hopes this year. I always do. This year I did better with that, too, but I once again did not consider my January struggles when making my plans.  Anyway, back to the Imposter. One of my plans for the very start of the year was a virtual 5k for a group that I have been chosen to be an ambassador for in 2023. It's called Still I Run, and it's all about using running to help manage mental health. Part of being an ambassador is posting about how I use running to handle my own challenges. I was so excited to be s...

There's No Moving Forward While Looking Back

Today is my birthday. I am 42 years old. It’s an age I never expected to see. For my entire life, I believed I would not live past 40. I just couldn’t see past that point, and honestly, if things had not changed, if I had not changed, that definitely could have been the outcome. Luckily, I am doing the hard work and exploring the shadows of my past. Healing is far from easy. It hurts. At times, it sucks. But, then you start seeing the growth and the progress. You start to feel better. At 42, I am entering this unforeseen year actually, for the first time ever, truly loving myself. I am still working, and there is a lot still to do, but this is huge for me. I have a lifetime of hating myself - everything I could possibly think of, I hated vehemently. I am an emotional person, and the hatred was powerful. I took my bullies’ words and ran with them, committed them to memory, and lived by them. For a lifetime. Maybe it is a kind of death. Ego death? Not that I am claiming to not still fa...

The Most Vibrant Shade of Green

Beginning Week 2, and things have already hit a snag. I was sore last week and skipped the last run. My reasoning was that the first run of this week was the same workout. But... then I changed things up a bit... again.... I can never leave a plan alone. This time I had a somewhat good reason. I went for my first run outside in a while, and I also ran at one of me and Moo's usual running spots. It was not easy. It was a beautiful day and a perfect temperature. Everything is the most vibrant shade of bright green right now.  Something is definitely missing from this picture. I cried again during my run (which is mainly what changed my run today). It was less this time, though. Maybe I'll eventually get through one without crying at all.  The goal for the rest of this week is to get back on track with the training plan. It should be easier to get back out on the trails again now that I've done one. Today was too perfect to pass up. I'm glad I could go back. I do love runn...